“Scene. It was an ominous night. No…too much. It was a dark and dreary night. Err…it was a dreary rainy day when a lone PlayStation was brought into “We like money pawnshop.”
“What are you doing PS Cooper?” asked a monotone voice.
“Working on my memoir.”
An echoing laughter from numerous electronic devices rattled the glass case.
“Hey guys you hear Mr. Number one aka best PlayStation ever over here?” the voice said with a chuckle.
“Okay Mike I get it. Just because you made great toast once doesn’t mean you are better than any of us,” said PS Cooper.
“Hey! That was an extraordinary piece of toast. The guy said so himself. I’ll never forget it. He said it was the best damn piece of toast he had ever put in his mouth. You can’t make this stuff up.”
“Yeah, yeah,” all the electronics said in unison.
“Look, all Mike is trying to say is nobody wants to hear about an orphan PS one. It just doesn’t sell buddy,” a squeaky voiced flip phone added.
“I get it Sim but I’ve been stuck in this case since that guy dropped me off some 20 odd years ago. I have to make something of myself. I’ve never even had a disc inside of me.”
A gasp fell upon the case. Everything went silent.
“Ah I remember the first time I was flipped open,” Sim broke the silence, “It was glorious.”
“Oh man the first time someone put a cartridge in me was outstanding!” belted out Gameboy Okuro the 4th.
“What do you mean? You have one in you right now!” said Mike.
“Yeah you animal,” added Sim.
“It’s just Q*bert guys relax,” said Okuro the 4th.
“Guys, guys…you are missing the point here. I didn’t experience things like that. I was orphaned so long ago. I don’t even know if I can power on,” said PS Cooper.
Whispers filled the glass case and PS Cooper felt about as low as he did the day he was abandoned. He never knew why he was left there, he could only remember being placed on the glass counter and then the two men arguing about money. For so long he had watched other electronics come and go and could never understand why he was being passed up. He had heard a rumor years later that people were buying new PlayStations like hot cakes and that people considered pawned PS Ones inferior. Of course the inferior part came from a boastful Xbox that was soon used for parts. The screams would haunt him forever.
“Enough is enough,” yelled Mike the toaster. “We are going to bust out of here, you mark my words.”
“What are you babbling about Mike?” asked Sim.
“I’m saying I am going to come up with a plan to bust PS Cooper out and he will have his day where a disc is placed inside of him,” Mike said with conviction.
“Leave it up to the only food appliance in the case to come up with a crazy idea,” mumbled a voice.
“Yeah I always knew he would snap,” said another.
“We will see about that, just you wait and see,” said Mike.
“Hey, I am all ports,” replied PS Cooper.
“Pfft…no you’re not,” a voice mocked.
Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this funny bit let us know in the comments below and a new one will come out every week.